10 of the Best Short, Funny and Hilarious Irish Jokes

10 of the Best Short, Funny and Hilarious Irish Jokes

• Reilly is walking through a graveyard when he comes across a headstone with the inscription "Here lies a politician and an honest man."'Faith now,' exclaims Reilly, 'I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave.
• 'O'Toole and his wife are in bed one night and they hear the neighbour's dog is barking its head off in the garden. Somewhat disturbed by the noise, O'Toole explodes, 'Botheration and that!' and storms off downstairs.  He comes back upstairs five minutes later and his wife asks, 'What did you do, O'Toole?'  O'Toole replies with a wide grin, 'I've put the dog in our garden so I did, now let's see how they like it.'
• Donncha is shocked at finding out all his cows are suffering from "Bluetongue." 'Bejabbers,' Donncha murmurs, 'I didn't even know they had mobile phones.'

• Gallagher is in Boston and he is waiting patiently, also, he is watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing.  The cop stops the flow of traffic and shouts, 'Okay pedestrians'. Then he allows the traffic to pass. He did this several times, and Gallagher is still standing on the sidewalk.  After the cop has shouted 'Pedestrians' for the tenth time, Gallagher approaches him and says, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?'
• 'Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?' asked President Franklin D. Roosevelt.  Do we now?' came New York Mayor Al Smith's reply.
• Finnegan sells Michael a donkey, some weeks later they met in a pub in Killarney and Michael says, 'Hey, Finnegan, that donkey you sold me went and died.'  Finnegan just sips his Guinness slowly and retorts, 'Bejabbers, Michael, it never done that on me.'
• Murphy lost a hundred dollars on the Melbourne Cup, a famous Australian horserace. He also lost another hundred on the television replay.
• Kieran O'Connor always slept with his gun under his pillow. Hearing a noise at the foot of the bed, he shot off his big toe.  'Thank the Lord I wasn't sleeping at the other end of the bed,' Kieran said to his friends in Donegal's pub. 'I would have blown my head off.'
• O'Gara was arrested and sent for trial for armed bank robbery.  After due deliberation, the jury foreman stood up and announced, 'Not guilty.'  'That's grand,' shouted O'Gara, 'Does that mean I get to keep the money?'
• 'Ah, that was a lovely dress,' announced Colleen, 'and it would have fitted me if I could have got into it, so it would.'